EdDriscoll.com

Saturday, June 21, 2003


HULK SMASH PUNY FILM INTO GUITAR PICKS! The film version of The Hulk is truly, truly dreadful. Save your money, wait for the DVD, where you can (a) rent it and (b) fast forward to the action sequences which are only so-so, but far better than the scenes leading up to them. The only way to like the Hulk is to (a) like and (b) identify with Bruce Banner before he's subjected to the "lethal gamma rays". There was nothing to like about any of the human characters, and the CGI Hulk was surprisingly phony looking (and acting). The film sort of resembled King Kong meets Austin Powers, with its combination of goofy split screens and Andromeda Strain-like government lab deep underground in the middle of the desert (which could double as a pretty good set for the next James Bond or Austin Powers movie.) I know the split screens were supposed to create a comic book-like atmosphere, but instead, all they reminded me of were Austin Powers and the same 1960s films (such as The Thomas Crown Affair that it tried to parody.) The Australian newcomer Eric Bana was a reasonably good blank cipher to play Bruce Banner. He's wasted in the role, but that's the director and screenwriter's fault, not his. Jennifer Connelly is wonderful eye-candy (if a bit anorexic looking), and Nick Nolte goofily chewed the scenery as Bruce's dad, David (the late Bill Bixby not able to take the part, alas). But what was the deal with Sam Elliot's moustache? It looked like the same strange Montgomery-like style that Michael Bates, the warden in A Clockwork Orange wore. Actually, in a way Eric Bana is part of the problem: Michael Keaton was an established star by the time he played Batman for Tim Burton. He had just come off Clean and Sober where he established that he can do more than blackout comedy and slapstick. Despite the dire warnings of the comic book crowd, because Keaton was a known and likable star, you identified with him as the tortured Bruce Wayne, and felt for his plight as an orphan--a man-child living alone (aside from his faithful butler) in an isolated mansion and wearing a silly costume at night As I said, since there's no humanity to Bana's Banner, there's no reason to feel sympathetic towards the Hulk. And what was with the Hulk not killing anyone (other than the odd giant radioactive poodle of course)? King Kong, whom the Hulk is clearly modeled after (with more than a touch of Frankenstein, of course), killed dozens of people in the 1933 film--and yet everyone felt for the big lug when he was blasted off the top of the Empire State Building. (By the way, key tip for future reference: anytime there's a film with a giant radioactive poodle, you know you're in serious trouble. And it was one of the film's highlights, for crying out loud.) Speaking of "what was with", what was with Bruce's father experimenting with gamma rays in 1966? Bruce was supposed to be four at the time, meaning he was born in '62, making him 40 or 41 in this film--which was clearly set in the present day. Yet the Bana and Connelly are both in their early 30s, and both of their characters are played as if they're 30 or younger. Perhaps Ang Lee should have set the film in the late 1980s, and had Josh Lucas's Talbot character give a "greed is good" speech. Truly an awful film--and dreadfully slow pacing, to boot. Easily 30 to 45 minutes of the film could have been cut out, and nobody would have missed them. And it's surprising to see Hollywood make such a blatantly anti-military (and anti-technology) film so quickly after 9/11. Ang Lee, who knows better, was recently quoted as saying, "I'm trying to make a delicacy out of American fast food". He should have started with better ingredients. McDonalds' food is fine for what it is: fast food. But trying to make filet mignon out of a Big Mac is a futile. And fast food at the movies can be surprisingly satisfying: last year's Spider-Man was a textbook on how to make a fun summer movie version of a comic book character. Considering how much James Lileks raved over Spider-Man last year (and rightly so), I'll be very interested in reading his take on The Hulk, the textbook example of how not to make a film of a comic book character. In the meantime, if the next batch of Fender heavy celluloid guitar picks I buy has a lime green tint to them, I'll know where they came from.


WMD DOCUMENTS: Possibly discovered by U.S. Forces. I'm not getting my hopes up, but it should be interesting to see how this one plays out.


Friday, June 20, 2003


YET ANOTHER REASON FOR THE RECALL DAVIS PETITION: He just tripled California's car tax--but there are efforts to reduce it, or repeal it entirely.


"DEAD AND DAMNED"--that's Trent Telenko's take on the Democrats after 9/11. Maybe that's why the ACLU has updated their direct mail campaign to be less shrill and leftist, as Reason's Ronald Bailey and Tim Cavanaugh note.


JONAH GOLDBERG WRITES, "The gays have won. The problem is no one will admit it", adding:

The challenge for social conservatives, it seems to me, is to make the best of what they consider a bad situation. But that would require making some painful capitulations -intellectual, moral, philosophical and financial. It would also require gay activists to understand that they've won and that the best course of action for them would be magnanimity in victory. Unfortunately, this is all unlikely since both camps are in denial about how far gays have come.
Andrew Sullivan and Glenn Reynolds have some thoughts as well.


FAR AWAY, SO CLOSE: There's a possibility that we could be seeing more regime change both near and abroad. This AP headline--"Iran Blocks U.N. Nuke Watchdog's Moves"--along with James Lileks' recent column, has an ominous sense of deja vu about it. Iran's mullahs are obviously gambling that after liberating Iraq only a few months ago, that we're not prepared to have a repeat anytime soon. But Lileks' second option would certainly be a useful interim step. Meanwhile, Orrin Judd has news that Karl Rove has been consulting with the recall-Davis movement. As Orrin writes, "Well, the White House has had great success with regime change lately..." On both fronts, as saying goes...faster please.


I THINK I SWALLOWED THE RED PILL: Blogger has radically changed the look of their Blogger Pro interface. This should be interesting... (By the way, you'd think the spell checker in Blogger Pro would know how to spell blocker, blacker, bicker Blogger, for chrissakes!)


WE ARE THE EIGHTIES: Wilson Goode praises President Bush. Err, that is, the ex-Philadelphia Mayor (infamous in the mid-'80s for his role in the MOVE fire) praises George W. Bush's faith-based initiative:

"What the president has proposed is that faith-based programs have access to funding, that is happening in a way that has never happened before," Goode told CNSNews.com. "I think [Bush] has done a good job in leading, I think that he has done a good job in getting the issue out in front of the people. We all are better off because of that," Goode added. Goode took part in a panel discussion following Tuesday's screening of the PBS documentary, God and the Inner City, which was funded by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life and Manifold Productions, Inc.
Interesting.


THE MAN WHO SUED THE WORLD: There's a new Website, called John Banzhaf Watch, aimed at monitoring "the trial lawyer who dreamt up the tobacco lawsuits that drained billions of dollars from a legal industry and made lawyers like JB billionaires. That's billionaires with a B!" Their homepage goes on to say:

JB is the head of a new troubling movement that believes there is no such thing as PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY! Recently at a debate in Washington, D.C. he said before hundreds of disbelievers that personal responsibility was "crap!" At stake is not only the abrogation of personal responsibility, but also the future of the $115 billion fast-food industry -- and perhaps the entire food industry. A potential flood of obesity-related lawsuits could cost the restaurant industry hundreds of millions of dollars, legal experts say. Industry executives say that could result in job losses and restaurant closings. And this is just the beginning. What's next? Will he sue car makers for making cars that potentially kill? Will he sue cereal companies for making Lucky Charms so darn tasty and thus potentially addictive? Will he sue his mother for not teaching him better eating habits as a youth? Whatever his next target, we'll be watching. In the meantime, stay tuned for more information about the progress of his obesity litigation. Already, he's helped win over $12 million from McDonald's in the first obesity lawsuit. Next, he's going after all six of the major fast-food chains -- McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut.
They suggest some ways to fight back, as well.

Thursday, June 19, 2003


BEING THERE: Peter Sellars believes that "the arts are important now because they prevent terrorism", as Tom Peyser of Reason describes his philosphy. Not surprisingly, Peyser is all over the man whose motto seems to be "Will Epater les Bourgeois For Food".


TRUST AND TAX RATES: Interesting comparisons by Richard W. Rahn of the Discovery and Cato Institutes.


EVA BAER-SCHENKEIN: The Greg Packer of television?


I JUST READ MAUREEN DOWD'S REVIEW of one of Stephen Green's latest posts. (He's back, by the way!) In it, she quotes Green, talking about Hillary, and saying, "Let's get this out of the way right out front, so there's no mistaking where I come from...she's a pretty effective senator for the people for the great state of New York. And...Bill Clinton's...a fun guy to hang out with." I have a feeling though, that Dowd may have left a few things out, so...read the whole thing for yourself.


THE JOHN KERRY/GEORGE ROMNEY CONNECTION REVEALED. Sullivan wrote just last night, "The one thing that knowledgeable people have told me about John Kerry is that he doesn't know when to stop. He has no controlling mechanism when he goes on the attack. To accuse this president of deliberately lying to get this country into war is therefore a typical piece of Kerry excess. I think Kerry will pay dearly for it in the long run - and maybe even sooner." UPDATE: Meanwhile, Kerry himself warned of Saddam's WMD efforts...in 1997!


Wednesday, June 18, 2003


THE ANTI-REVIEW: While Rolling Stone ushered in the genre of "rock journalism" in the late 1960s, it, and the magazines that followed, also ushered in the genre of the anti-review. The anti-review typically happened when either (a) the writer was handed an album so outside his ken that he had no idea what to say about it and blocked, or (b) hated the album so much that he decided to simply make stuff up in a pique of condescending anger mixed with wild improvisation. With that in mind, over at Blogcritics.org, I look at one of the great anti-reviews of all time, Creem's 1970 anti-review of Led Zep III.


I'LL TAKE THE SECOND OPTION AS WELL, PLEASE: James Lileks looks at Bush, nuclear proliferation, and Iran, and finds that the president has two choices. The second option would also work rather nicely in North Korea, I suspect.


BE SURE TO WEAR YOUR TINFOIL HELMET, next time you ride your Segway. John Hawkins links to "a positively bizarre story in USA Today. According to USA Today technology writer Kevin Maney, President Bush fell off a Segway not by accident, but as part of a plot to hurt Segway and thereby help the oil industry." Hawkins has excerpts from the column. Be sure to check out the comments to the post as well.


MOCK THE VOTE: Tim Cavanaugh of Reason has some thoughts on the movement to recall Gray Davis. UPDATE: And so does Nick Schulz, my editor at Tech Central Station.


HOUSE OKs PERMANENT END OF ESTATE TAX: This AP article suggests the bill will die in the Senate, but Stephen Moore, of the Club for Growth, said:

Supporters are two to four votes short of the 60 needed in the Senate to repeal the estate tax. Moore predicted Republicans will take the issue to Senate elections and ask voters to elect lawmakers who will close that gap. "It becomes an issue that can galvanize conservative voters," he said.
By the way, check out this hilarious ending to the piece:
Seth Goldman, president of Honest Tea in Bethesda, Md., said eliminating the estate tax will create "an entitled class" and suppress entrepreneurship. "There are those who claim that an estate tax is un-American, but I believe that the idea of an inherited upper-class is un-American," he said.
What--Greg Packer wasn't available to deliver that quote?


"ARMAVIRUMQUE" (pronounced "Prince", to borrow a phrase coined by Ted Barlow) is the new Weblog of the New Criterion. Or the New Criterion's new Weblog. Or the Weblog of the new New Criterion. In other words it's new--and very good. Click on over and have a look.


HOW THE LEFT WAS WON: Bruce Bartlett writes, "There were a number of factors that cemented the Democratic majority from 1932 to 1994 (interrupted only by two Republican Congresses from 1946-48 and 1952-54, and Republican control of the Senate from 1980-86)." As to how that majority was cemented, how it was eventually defeated, and what future awaits both parties, read the whole thing.


"NOT SO STUPID WHITE MEN FIGHT BACK": The Times of London looks at Michael Moore. Read the whole thing, as that hip saying that all the cool kids use goes. (Link via Andrew Sullivan.)


MALKIN GETS RESULTS: National Review Online's Kathryn Jean Lopez writes, "Michelle Malkin writes this about her police chief, published today, and then, today, he resigns. Coincidence?" A few weeks ago, at the height of the Times' scandal, I wrote that Chief (now ex-Chief) Charles A. Moose was last year's Moose-meme. Now he appears to be peddling furiously to keep his 15 minutes of fame going.


Tuesday, June 17, 2003


AZADI, ARAK, ESHGH! A meme is born. (Scroll down the comments to find out how to get an Azadi, Arak, Eshgh! button of your own!)


"IS CALVIN PRAYING FOR YOU?": Tom Johnson weighs in on those ubiquitous (and annoying) "Calvin peeing on a Chevy/Ford/Harley/Yamaha" stickers:

The irony here, as everyone knows, is that Watterson is Mormon, and therefore highly religious, and had nothing to do with these stickers (and wouldn't allow his characters to be licensed for anything, stickers included.) Regardless, the stickers are now a regrettable part of our culture, and like anything so ubiquitous, comes to represent a sort of mentality of everyone - whether you've got the sticker on your car or not. The big question is, what is it with rivalries like this? Could it be more inconsequential? Ooo, so you don't like Chevy. What happens if your friend buys a Chevy? Can you still be friends with them, or have they gone over to the dark side? Or do you stay with them - because you're a friend - to be there to help them up when they inevitably suffer the consequences of their bad decision? I can't think of a better way to tell people that Americans have far too much free time on their hands than with a sticker that advertises your immense dislike of a particular manufacturer's version of what is decidely a luxury item.
Exactly.


A LOVE SUPREME: My review of the recent Impulse two CD-set of Coltrane's seminal album is now up on Blogcritics. Be sure to check out my review of Ashley Kahn's making-of book as well!


INSTAPUNDIT'S O'REILLY-A-RAMA: Glenn Reynolds has one-stop Bill O'Reilly-hates-the-'Net coverage. Start here, follow the links, and then pop over to Reynold's MSNBC column.


NEWSWEEK'S NEOCON-A-GO-GO: MRC's Brent Baker writes, "In a 2,700 word article on neoconservatives with ties to the Bush administration, this week's Newsweek applied the 'neoconservative' label an amazing 25 times, or nearly once every 100 words, the MRC's Tim Graham observed. And that's not counting the 'neocon' in the story's headline, which would bring the total to 26." It's kind of ironic that neocons have become the new boogie men for the left wing, in just a few short months. In December, during the Trent Lott scandal, Jonah Goldberg was complaining that a Charles Krauthammer column "reinforces an unfair liberal slander that only 'neoconservatives' are fully moral and serious conservatives." But then, this isn't the first time in the past eight months or so that the left has turned on a dime.


INOCULATION: Bob Novak writes that Hillary has taken a page from Bill's book a decade ago.


FORD'S NEW FERRARI KILLER: From Harrison, we go to Henry, as Forbes looks at the 2004 Ford GT, which has knockout looks--and a knockout price ($150,000).


Monday, June 16, 2003


FORD IN MOUTH DISEASE: While I was waiting to get my hair cut last week, I read a fawning profile of Harrison Ford in this month's Biography magazine, which accompanies A&E's cable show (which now has its own spin-off channel as well). Why is Ford on the cover this month? Because he has a new movie to promote, of course. (Hollywood Homicide--he's very good in it, but the film itself is a mess. My wife and I saw it this past weekend.) The Biography article unfortunately isn't online, but there was a paragraph in it that stood out like a sore thumb. I'm paraphrasing, but this is pretty close: "Ford, a committed environmental activist, says, 'the current administration has done nothing for the environment. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give them a one.'" Great Harrison--alienate half your audience. Actually, probably more, as the Chomsky-smoking crowd considers itself waaay too hip and ironic to bother with films as bourgeois as the Indiana Jones and Star Wars movies, or the Tom Clancy films, where your box office clout was made. In the meantime, I'd love to know what Ford would say to this recent post by Dr. Weevil, on an environmental clean-up that Bush will never receive credit for.


POSEUR ALERT (as Andrew Sullivan would say): "I'm trying to make a delicacy out of American fast food"--Ang Lee, the director of The Incredible Hulk. And while the movie Hulk still smashes trains, planes and automobiles, Russell Scott Smith of the New York Post writes, "when the Hulk picks up a tank, spins it over his head and tosses it 500 yards away, the camera deliberately shows the soldier escaping, completely unscathed". Of course. Because the Hulk killing people would be too dark and violent.


SNEAK PREVIEW: My sources, at great personal sacrifice, were able to retrieve a copy of the final shooting script for The Matrix Revolutions, the final film in the Matrix trilogy, coming this fall. I can now reveal how the film ends. EXCLUSIVE--MUST CREDIT EDDRISCOLL.COM:

EXTERIOR, ZION TEMPLE: Zion is smashed, the robots have won. Sentinel robots and AGENT SMITH are closing in on NEO and TRINITY. NEO: Trinity, this is it. I thought I was The One, but I was wrong. I'm sorry. I've let you down. TRINITY: It's OK. You tried. It was a noble goal. The Matrix was simply more powerful than we were. I love you. The two embrace and kiss for the last time as the Sentinels move in for the kill. DISSOLVE TO: A darkened room, where a couple is in bed. As the man wakes up and turns a light on, we can make out that it's the bedroom of a tastefully decorated Chicago apartment, circa 1990. BOB NEWHART: Honey, you won't believe the dream I had this time! SUZANNE PLESHETTE: Oh dear, not that New England country inn dream again, Bob. BOB: No, it was weirder than that! You were in a leather catsuit, and Chicago was a computer simulation. The street names were right, but it looked exactly like Syndey Australia! Our neighbor Howard was a bald, mystical black man named Morpheus, and Carol lived in the projects and gave us our marching orders, and was called The Oracle. When we weren't fighting robots, we were dancing in the mud in some underground city called Zion. And I could fly! SUZANNE: Go back to sleep Bob. DISSOLVE TO END CREDITS, fade out on MTM "kitten" logo.
Of course, now that I've revealed it, Warner Brothers is probably scrambling to reshoot those scenes...


WHY I DON'T HAVE COMMENTS ON THIS BLOG, PART MDCCXXXIX: The robot article in Tech Central Station has some unitentionally hilarous comments on it (scroll down to end of article). Perhaps the first one set the tone, where a reader complained that I should have written an article about our coming natural gas crisis rather than robots. I probably should have analyzed the Zapruder film, Paul Wellstone's death, and figured out what was in the case in Pulp Fiction as well, but I didn't--I wrote about what I wrote about, sorry. The newest comment is a corker as well:

How sad. Old folks are to be kept in isolation, cut off from family and society, served (clunkily) by robots. How sad that this is our vision of the future, especially when robotics and computers could be used instead to enrich us all and free people from the need to do meaningless work. But no, increasing productivity means workers face cutoff from the economy, and must accept lower wages. Everyone who can must take whatever crappy jobs they can find. All the people who aren't home taking care of their elders will instead be in boiler rooms phoning them with schemes to rip them off. The twilight of capitalism. What a travesty.
Let's deconstruct this one, shall we?
Old folks are to be kept in isolation, cut off from family and society, served (clunkily) by robots.
When my mother-in-law (who passed away in February) had a series of strokes beginning around the fall of 2000, she was far from cut-off from society. My wife and I flew regularly across the country, to visit her in Manhattan. (Most of my blog entries from the East Coast last year were for that very reason). She also regularly saw her family and friends who lived in the area. But they couldn't be there all the time, which is why we hired a home healthcare aide, a considerable expense. Engleberger's idea for a robot isn't designed to replace either family or an aide, but to supplant them, during those inevitable times that neither can be present.
How sad that this is our vision of the future, especially when robotics and computers could be used instead to enrich us all and free people from the need to do meaningless work.
When did I say this was "our" vision of the future? I simply reported what one entrepreneuaral inventor told me over the phone. Also, aren't machines already enriching us already? Your dishwasher and garbage disposal in the kitchen are robots of a sort--simply very, very stupid robots. The Roomba robot vacuum cleaner is a slightly more sophisticated robot. And as I said in the article, these devices are the equivilent of where personal computers were in the mid-1970s. Think about the applications that your PC runs today, compared to (if you even experimented with computers in the late 1970s) the BASIC programs you tinkered with back then.
Everyone who can must take whatever crappy jobs they can find. All the people who aren't home taking care of their elders will instead be in boiler rooms phoning them with schemes to rip them off. The twilight of capitalism. What a travesty.
Holy head-spinning jump to conclusions, Batman! Have we smoked a little too much Jeremy Rifkin? Besides, if it is the "the twilight of capitalism", why are you worried about phoning your elders "with schemes to rip them off"? Once the state replaces capitalism, I'm sure the state will have better jobs for you than simply phoning your elders. But before we consign capitalism to the dustbin of history, let's flashback a bit. At its lowest point in the early 1930s, at the very bottom of the Depression, the Dow closed at about 40. When it reopened on September 17th, 2001, a week after three fully fueled aircraft plunged into the two towers of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, it closed at 8,921.


CODE NAME EGO: Marc Weingarten of the New York Observer reviews Code Name Ginger: The Story Behind Segway and Dean Kamen’s Quest to Invent a New World, by Steve Kemper.


Sunday, June 15, 2003


WOULD HENRY FORD HAVE BEEN "ALLOWED" to build the Model-T today? You probably already know the answer, but Tom Bray has an interesting look back to when America was a more risk, and entrepreneur-friendly nation.


STEVE WINWOOD RETURNS, with a new CD. I have details over at Blogcritics.


THIS IS PATHETIC: If you're name is David Nelson, you're in for the hassle of your life if you fly. Whether you're Ozzie and Harriet's 66 year old son, or this fellow:

Take 73-year-old David Nelson, a retired building manager from South Pasadena. His name provoked mass confusion at LAX last August, when he was trying to get to Madison, Wis., for a high school reunion. Eventually a manager appeared and said, "I'm sorry, your name has appeared on the watch list." Then Nelson was surrounded by a swarm of security officers -- "I guess so I wouldn't make a break for it," said Nelson, who walks with a cane.
* * *
Indeed, several David Nelsons said airline officials told them the name was listed because a man named David Nelson once barged into an airplane cockpit. Federal officials would not confirm the story. The main problem, Kennedy said, is the shroud of secrecy that surrounds the TSA's name-matching technology, Computer Assisted Passenger Pre-Screening Program (CAPPS), which was rolled out after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The TSA acknowledges the existence of a "no fly" list that contains names of suspected terrorists and others who are barred from boarding a commercial aircraft. The agency also acknowledges a so-called "selectee" list of those identified for extra scrutiny before boarding. Melendez described the selectee list as "very dynamic and always changing. It's really not even a list at all."
If it's very dynamic, then why have all of these Nelsons been stopped at airports? Somebody needs to update the database, or at least allow for descriptive information (height, weight, hair color, age) to go with a name. UPDATE: Asparagirl has some thoughts as well.


THE NEW RORSCHACH TEST: Yup, that pretty much sums it up.


I REALLY SHOULDN'T POST LATE AT NIGHT. I'm always afraid I'll misread headlines. For example, at this late hour, this UPI headline looks to me like it says:

"Naked comic frightens shark to death"
But that can't be right, can it? Naaaah. (Originally posted 1:08:17 AM; moved forward due to Blogger archive bug.)

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