Since the early days of this site, a recurring theme has been that no satirist is able to improve upon real life for its pure absurd absurdist absurdity. Which is what makes this Iowahawk parody, titled "As Casualties Mount, Some Question The Emotional Stability of Media Vets" so delicious:

Accounts of media psychopathy, while widespread, have until now been largely anecdotal. In order to provide a more focused and systematic study of the crisis, Iowahawk researchers set out to identify and tabulate criminal arrests and convictions of current and former journalists. While by no means comprehensive, this 10-minute project yielded a grim picture of a once-proud profession now in the grips of tragic, drunk, violent, child-raping rage.

The stories cited in the opening paragraph, while instructive, are by no means isolated. Google searches return hundreds of crimes attributable to workers in America's media industry, and millions of pages containing the terms "journalist" and "murder." They are as shocking in their detail as they are in their number.

With so many examples of veterans of this profession leading troubled lives, one wonders if recruiters should be barred from college campuses to prevent their trolling for new enlistees into such a dangerous, personality destroying field.